By Valerie Hill “You don’t deserve this! Get out!” These were the words–lies that Satan was putting into my mind–starting Thursday and continuing all day Friday and part of Saturday on my Tres Dias weekend. When I was 10 years old, my mom was shot and killed by her live-in boyfriend.  When I turned 20, I joined the military and shortly thereafter turned to a life of drugs, alcohol, and repeated suicide attempts. I hated God and my family, and I isolated myself from everyone. If I was your friend, I was going to sabotage our relationship because I really didn’t want you in my life, even though by lying to you I could make you feel like I did. Friday night of the weekend was wrecked by nightmares and flashbacks, and by Satan telling me, “These people were too good for you to be around.”  The PTSD from my childhood trauma started flaring up. I felt defeated, and when I awoke Saturday morning I immediately looked for my sponsor’s wife, a member of the team, to tell her I wanted to leave. Instead, I found God in the form of one of the women who was preparing to give a talk on Sunday. I was walking by myself when she came up from behind and just started talking to me and telling me how God was working through some of the things in her life. There was no greeting or small talk to start the conversation–she just started telling her story. As she talked, I realized “I am not alone. Other people hurt too!”  We walked to the chapel together and she, along with my table leader, sat next to me. That was totally God’s work, having those two women next to me. Both women were mothers and both poured out their love on me and kept me in the room. They made me feel as if I were their daughter and that I was God’s daughter too. Soon thereafter, one of the spiritual leaders joined the discussion and heard our stories. She instructed us to give each other a “momma hug.” I hadn’t received a momma hug in over 30 years.  I told both women I couldn’t do that–I just couldn’t be that close to anyone, especially another woman. When the spiritual leader said that we were to give each other communion, that’s when I broke down. My table leader gave me the elements, then showed me what it was like to receive a hug from a mom. It was also a hug from God. I know at that moment that He wanted to be with me and had been patiently waiting for me to accept Him! During the rest of the weekend, other women continued to show up every time I would question my faith.  It was like God knew the perfect time to have one of these beautiful ladies pour God’s love on me! The very next Sunday after my Tres Dias weekend, I was baptized by the weekend worship leader at my home church. She is the same person who, several years before my weekend, just happened to call me one night during my last suicide attempt. She said I just had to believe in God, trust in Him and have faith that He would work all things out for me. On the weekend, the women showed me how to trust Him, have “Childlike Faith” (our Weekend Theme) and to just “be still and know He is God!”  Something I had never done before. Psalm 91 tells us to not be afraid of the terrors of the night because God will protect us!  I am no longer afraid of the night or the days! I Thank God for all who serve on those life-changing weekends, because on every weekend Satan is defeated and God is glorified! Valerie is a member of the Sabine Creek community.